You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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