The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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