you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
