I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
