Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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