he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
