just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
