Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
