This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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