I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
