another moral hangover. fuck.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
