At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
