the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
