You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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