so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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