Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
