Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
