Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
