Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
