I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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