the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If I die, sorry about rent.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
