Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
