I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
