I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize