Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
