I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
