How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
