I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
