Sponge bath it is.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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