Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
