1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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