Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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