I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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