I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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