Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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