you mean i was at the winter classic?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
