I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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