I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
