the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
