Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
