grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
