Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
