she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
PANTIES FOUND
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
