I wish I could teleport
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
