Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
