remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
