So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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