so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
