It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
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It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
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Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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