just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize