well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
