i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize