So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
