Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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