Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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