3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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