Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
