I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
