So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
