Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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