Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
