I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
