we were pretty classy up until the second keg
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
