Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
