Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
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On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
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Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.