Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  youre so sexy i want your bod

  (410): View more from Maryland

  dude, did you turn gay?

  (949): View more from California

  heather?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  this is jacob

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  (949): youre so sexy i want your bod (410): dude, did you turn gay? (949): heather? (410): this is jacob http://tfl.nu/gn2b
  Replies (14) Good night (1295) Bad night (2146)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.

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  (508): she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock. http://tfl.nu/5spj
  Replies (9) Good night (857) Bad night (2100)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.

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  (503): I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any. http://tfl.nu/5jsz
  Replies (1) Good night (634) Bad night (2235)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I'M GETTING MARRIED!

  (512): View more from Texas

  YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!

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  (254): I'M GETTING MARRIED! (512): YOU'RE STILL MARRIED! http://tfl.nu/48vu
  Replies (38) Good night (4566) Bad night (2400)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"

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  (650): you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?" http://tfl.nu/9xhm
  Replies (4) Good night (2775) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.

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  (859): I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding. http://tfl.nu/b0qx
  Replies (17) Good night (4228) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?

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  (701): does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat? http://tfl.nu/hd1u
  Replies (56) Good night (7065) Bad night (2157)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on

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  (707): I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on http://tfl.nu/0k8v
  Replies (26) Good night (3108) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love

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  (202): he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love http://tfl.nu/m0fg
  Replies (15) Good night (5521) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.

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  (815): It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina. http://tfl.nu/o9qo
  Replies (8) Good night (3845) Bad night (1091)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong

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  (512): Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong http://tfl.nu/wvqv
  Replies (14) Good night (2931) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.

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  (240): This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room. http://tfl.nu/ruma
  Replies (4) Good night (1391) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good

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  (860): Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum (1-860): I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good http://tfl.nu/bjb1
  Replies (7) Good night (924) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"

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  (412): okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain" http://tfl.nu/zllc
  Replies (2) Good night (766) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.

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  (313): Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club. http://tfl.nu/xqxw
  Replies (1) Good night (548) Bad night (237)

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