New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.