Texts From Last Night

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  (855): View more from

  somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs

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  (855): somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs http://tfl.nu/4p1d
  Replies (6) Good night (1279) Bad night (411)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?

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  (662): Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call? http://tfl.nu/dgsg
  Replies (6) Good night (1032) Bad night (402) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?

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  (318): Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch? http://tfl.nu/y5pd
  Replies (17) Good night (10093) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????

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  (603): you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt???? http://tfl.nu/wi9x
  Replies (44) Good night (625) Bad night (4574) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.

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  (202): My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation. http://tfl.nu/z4sr
  Replies (15) Good night (7189) Bad night (826)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.

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  (910): Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night. http://tfl.nu/xyp8
  Replies (16) Good night (960) Bad night (6452) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.

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  (734): Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested. http://tfl.nu/xcij
  Replies (35) Good night (5230) Bad night (1839) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.

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  (724): i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here. http://tfl.nu/fq3k
  Replies (5) Good night (1090) Bad night (3394) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.

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  (605): I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong. http://tfl.nu/jd9v
  Replies (6) Good night (2973) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.

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  (806): Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone. http://tfl.nu/3odv
  Replies (5) Good night (1328) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!

  (207): View more from Maine

  I just puked in my drinking hat.

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  (708): Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending! (207): I just puked in my drinking hat. http://tfl.nu/2gwn
  Replies (1) Good night (1938) Bad night (802)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.

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  (704): Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks. http://tfl.nu/2r5q
  Replies (6) Good night (1701) Bad night (597)
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  (707): View more from California

  New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice

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  (707): New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice http://tfl.nu/6azx
  Replies (6) Good night (585) Bad night (1055) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.

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  (949): Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza. http://tfl.nu/9evg
  Replies (8) Good night (595) Bad night (342)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.

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  (312): It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over. http://tfl.nu/eihc
  Replies (3) Good night (746) Bad night (247) Order T-Shirt

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