Texts From Last Night

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  (951): View more from California

  yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.

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  (951): yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye. http://tfl.nu/mzng
  Replies (63) Good night (1577) Bad night (10151)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.

  (305): View more from Florida

  Did you save them?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Who?

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  (404): Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning. (305): Did you save them? (404): Who? http://tfl.nu/1xdf
  Replies (28) Good night (5499) Bad night (1178)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous

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  (325): When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous http://tfl.nu/im9q
  Replies (26) Good night (857) Bad night (4448)
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  (858): View more from California

  She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.

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  (858): She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause. http://tfl.nu/nsj4
  Replies (38) Good night (5648) Bad night (723)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?

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  (570): Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting? http://tfl.nu/d43k
  Replies (35) Good night (3344) Bad night (1880)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"

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  (419): then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!" http://tfl.nu/taup
  Replies (10) Good night (4341) Bad night (821)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight

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  (785): one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight http://tfl.nu/06gq
  Replies (12) Good night (2416) Bad night (1122)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.

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  (973): i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun. http://tfl.nu/edf8
  Replies (30) Good night (3518) Bad night (1568)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes

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  (+31): Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes http://tfl.nu/ymlt
  Replies (6) Good night (936) Bad night (3645)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.

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  (386): Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole. http://tfl.nu/vrpb
  Replies (6) Good night (679) Bad night (2068)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.

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  (252): I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time. http://tfl.nu/viaw
  Replies (1) Good night (1196) Bad night (567)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown

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  (715): begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown http://tfl.nu/xg0v
  Replies (4) Good night (1039) Bad night (432)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.

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  (303): And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked. http://tfl.nu/770z
  Replies (4) Good night (1776) Bad night (782)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.

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  (724): No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face. http://tfl.nu/bjr7
  Replies (2) Good night (539) Bad night (278)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.

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  (780): I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong. http://tfl.nu/brwn
  Replies (2) Good night (381) Bad night (654)

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