My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.