id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
