He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
