I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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