my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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