you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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