It was confusing and full of hummus
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
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Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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