What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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