We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
