You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
